The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
