nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
When are your genitals available?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
