He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
