I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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