I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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