Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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