38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm too high and old for this...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
