i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
