Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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