Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
