I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
