seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
