it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
