You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
