Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
