just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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