that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
