GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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