Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
