anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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