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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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