I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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