We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
