i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
