You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
