When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
