You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
