I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we have officially lost it.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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