Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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