I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
