i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
