i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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