i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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