I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
