and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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