Duck Duck Cougar?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
