I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
