I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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