what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
