Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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