I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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