4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
