Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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