dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
