I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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