i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
