I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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