ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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