i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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