So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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