is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
